Pregnancy- Not So Glorious

I'm about to enter my 9th month of pregnancy...  At this point it gets a little scary.  You see I'm in between the glorious days of the 2nd trimester when you feel beautiful, sexy, comfortable and ready to pounce on your husband any chance you get and the inevitable "JUST GET IT OUT" phase.

Sure I'm uncomfortable- who wouldn't be with a large honeydew inside their belly (according to thebump.com)?  But when are you really ready for labor?  There is no class for it!  Sure there are the classes you can take at the hospital- which charge you $80 to teach you how to breathe!  Isn't that something we all should be good at by now?  But what about knowing what is going to happen when your labor starts?  The fact is there is no way to know!  My Mom for example had the fairytale pregnancy- no morning sickness- little back pain- truly nothing to complain about- she made it look easy... until her water broke.  She was in labor for 21 hours with me- it ended in a c-section when my heart slowed to the point of giving the nurses on the floor a heart attack.  Then there is my Mom's best friend- she has two kids.  Both kids were delivered in less than an hour from the time she felt the first pain.  Her husband rushed her to the hospital and didn't even have time to put on a gown and booties before her kids were born.  Now that sounds great- but keep in mind there was NO time for drugs!  She felt EVERYTHING!

When your pregnant you hear everyones horror story!  I say horror story because the good stories just never seem to come your way.  You hear about the 20+ hours of labor, how the epidural didn't work, how they pushed for over THREE HOURS, tore from end to end, and not to be gross but pooped everywhere.  I don't need to hear about what bodily functions are going to happen when I'm bring a life into this world- I just don't need to know!!

When am I going to come across someone that will say- "you will be fine, its not that bad"?
So the point is people are starting to ask "aren't you so ready to be done?" and my answer for the them is "HELL NO!"  I will continue to deal with the kicks to my ribs, the sweating when its 50 degrees outside and the multiple trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  I'm told there will come a time when I will announce to the world "JUST GET HER OUT!"  but folks- I'm just not there yet!